By Georgia FreeWednesday 20 Dec 2023Hope DriveChristmasReading Time: 3 minutes
Christmas is a time for joy and celebration, but it can also be a time of great stress, grief and hard feelings – which don’t take a break just because it’s December 25th. One of the most exhausting experiences is being a new parent and juggling things like Christmas can be ten times harder with a baby.
Sydney dad-of-two Trent Gallucci joined Hope Drive to share how birth trauma affected him and his mental health, and how his family keep Christmas simple with young kids.
‘Couldn’t even see him’ – Xavier’s birth story
When Trent’s first baby Xavier was born at 30 weeks, it was a shock to everyone. The pregnancy had gone smoothly up until that point, before Trent’s wife noticed that the baby was moving less.
Hours later, Xavier was born. He spent two weeks in the NICU, before spending an additional six weeks in Special Care.
During that time, Trent’s wife also had complications after birth, which made her unwell. Additionally, Trent and his wife had to leave hospital without their baby – and faced strict visitor restrictions due to COVID lockdown.
Trent was near breaking point.
“I wasn’t prepared to see a tiny little baby that could fit in your forearm with all these tubes coming out of him,” Trent said.
“We wanted to share this baby with the world, and we couldn’t even see him.”
Finding help
In the months following, after Xavier had been discharged from hospital, Trent still wasn’t feeling better, but he wasn’t sure what to do about it.
“I had quite a sheltered upbringing and had never accessed any services for mental health,” Trent admitted.
“I could tell something was wrong. Even the things I usually love doing, I just wasn’t enjoying it.
“I didn’t feel myself.”
Through hospital resources and a GP referral, Trent was connected with a mental health professional at the Gidget Foundation – who helped him get back on his feet and be a more present husband and father.
“It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, to say, ‘I’m not feeling myself’ and reaching out,” Trent said.
“But it was the best thing I’ve ever done.
“There was no rush, no pressure, no judgement.”
Trent and his wife welcomed their second child in December this year.
Chaos of Christmas
Gidget Foundation have released a book for new parents on how to keep things simple at Christmas called Bunny’s Little Big Christmas.
Trent also encourages people to take the pressure off this season – and find time to disconnect to be together as a family.
“We’re having Christmas to ourselves, and we will catch up with family in the New Year,” Trent said.
“We want to take the chaos out of the day, especially since this is our first Christmas with two kids.”
Finally, Trent encourages those going through birth trauma – especially dads – to reach out and ask for help.
“No-one knows yourself better than yourself,” Trent said. “So, when you do start to feel off, just know that there is help out there.”
“I’m now back to the husband and father that I want to be for my family.”
Listen to Trent’s full interview in the player above.
For more resources, including information on Bunny’s Little Big Christmas, visit the Gidget Foundation website.
Feature image: Photo by CanvaPro