Self confidence: Part 2

Third,a sense of worth ─ in who we are.
Also fundamental to finding meaning to life is to have a healthy sense of self-worth. This quality,or lack of it,usually has its roots in our early relationships.

For instance,if you grew up with sufficient unconditional love and acceptance from your parents and the significant people in your early life ─ regardless of what you ever did or failed to do ─ you will most likely have a very healthy sense of self worth.

If you didn’t receive this quality of love in your early life,you will need healing in this area. This can be achieved through open,honest and loving relationships. Fortunately,a bad start doesn’t have to mean a bad ending. This can be achieved through getting our fourth basic need met.

Fourth,a sense of belonging ─ in whose I am.
To achieve a sense of competence,confidence and worth,it is essential to have a sense of belonging. That is,we need to be connected to loving,non-judgemental,safe people. To do this,we need to be known as we truly are ─ secrets,dark side,warts and all ─ and be loved anyhow. That is,we need to be accepted for who we are and not for what we have or haven’t done. Without these kinds of relationships we simply cannot live life to the full.

In fact,to live as an ‘island’ is to self destruct. As Dr Barnard Steinzer said,’The person who feels completely alone and has lost hope of a relationship will become a patient in the wards of a mental hospital or bring their life to an end through suicide.’ Consequently,every one of us needs to find at least one person whom we can trust with our deepest,darkest secrets and be loved and accepted by them. We find this person or we die a little every day.

Sometimes we need God’s help to find such a person. And this emphasizes a need of even greater importance. That is,because we are spiritual beings we also need to be connected to God. Unfortunately,our sinful nature (by whatever name we call it) has separated or disconnected us from God,the author of all love and life. God’s Word calls this spiritual death.

Romans 6:23 “For sin pays its wage – death. But God’s free gift is eternal life in union with Christ Jesus our Lord”.

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Fortunately,because God loves us he gave his Son,Jesus,to pay the ransom price for our sins when he died on the cross in our place. We need to confess our sins to God (and with his help learn to overcome them) and ask Jesus to come into our hearts and lives as personal Lord and Saviour. Then God forgives us for all our sins and wrong-doing,gives us the gift of eternal life,and best of all,reconnects us to himself.

This is without question the greatest gift and need in all of life and it is available to all who ask God for it.

John 3:16 “For God loved the world so much that He gave His only Son,so that everyone who believes in Him may not die but have eternal life.”

Lastly,we need a sense of significance ─ in what our life amounts to.
True,to fully live we need a sense of competence,confidence,worth and belonging. We also need a sense that our lives have made a difference,that we haven’t lived in vain.

To me the greatest way to achieve this goal is to invest my life in eternity by getting involved in God’s plans and what he is doing in the world today. So every day I pray,’Dear God,will you please give me the want to be what you want me to be and then the want to do what you want me to do. And will you please use me today to be a part of what you are doing in the world in which I live.’ I invite you to do the same.

And at the end of life’s journey when we stand before God to give an account of our lives,may we hear him say,’Well done,good and faithful servant,enter into the joy of the Lord ─ forever.’