‘Good Boundaries and Goodbyes’: When Does a Relationship Need to End?

Do you think loving others can ever be self-destructive? Can we end up in unhealthy relationships – romantic or otherwise – because we don’t put boundaries in place that look after our own wellbeing as well as theirs?

For years, Bible teacher and NY Times bestselling author Lysa Terkeurst has taken readers into the ups and downs of her marriage. From facing her husband’s repeated infidelity, to learning how to forgive and rebuild and now, ultimately, having to face the hard reality that her marriage of 30-plus years had to end.

Lysa’s new book Good Boundaries and Goodbyes is all about breaking cycles of dysfunction and looking at biblical ways of setting boundaries that help us love others without losing the best of who we are.

On the latest episode of UNDISTRACTED, Lysa talks about who should be in your inner circle, deciding when to end a relationship and pushes back on some of the ways scripture can be used to hold people in unhealthy relationships.

Lysa Terkeurst pushes back on some of the ways scripture can be used to hold people in unhealthy relationships.

“I very intentionally take verses that have been weaponised against people, and I help people understand the real theological truth behind that Bible verse,” Lysa said.

When we are trying to put new relational boundaries in place “one of those [verses] I often hear people say is, ‘doesn’t Jesus call us to lay down our life for our friends, and isn’t that what he modelled?’,” she said.

“Yes, Jesus laid down His life, [but it was] for a high and holy purpose. He did not lay down His life to enable bad behaviour to continue.”

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Listen to the full episode of UNIDSTRACTED with guest Lysa Terkeurst in the player above, video below, or wherever you get your podcasts.