Not So Nice Criticism — Morning Devotions

Subscribe to Morning Devotions podcast

Transcript

As a child, do you remember your parents telling you that sticks and stones will break your bones, but words can never hurt? Yes, it’s a children’s rhyme that’s often said to help kids deal with harsh words or the torments of other children at school, or you’ve got to take the good with the bad, but adults say now that it’s simply not true. Our memories seem to be wired to remembering the negatives in life rather than the positives. I’ve heard people react. What a ridiculous saying. Bruises heal eventually, but the words, they are there forever. The words are like sticks and stones, sharp and spiky and painful like little missiles.

How many people have had their feelings and problems brushed aside and invalidated because words can’t hurt you? Can you recall someone using this phrase to basically tell you, you’re not allowed to be hurt by words and you need to simply put up with it? I’m sure there are many people out there walking around wounded because of words and the not so nice criticism.

How we use our words

One Sunday, a pastor in the church received an anonymous note with nothing but the word fool written on it. The following Sunday morning he got up in the church and said, I’ve had many notes without signatures before, but this is the first time I got one where someone forgot to write the note and just signed his name. Have you ever been criticised before? How did you handle the criticisms or your critics? I’m pretty sure that we’ve all been criticised at one time or another.

Words have a tremendous power. I think you can still recall the day a friend turned on you with critical words, and it stung deeply. The critical spirit seems to be easy for people to have. We know how painful it can be when someone comes up to you and says, Can I be perfectly honest with you? I don’t want to be critical, but we know we can’t hide from criticism. I like what Aristotle said. Criticism is something you can avoid easily by saying no, doing nothing, and being nothing. I don’t think anyone wants to live like that. We get involved in the stuff of daily life, and that means mixing and relating to other people. And not everyone thinks like you do. There will be inevitable differences that we need to deal with. Criticism, it can be constructive or destructive, although I’ve read where some people say that all types of criticism has an effect on our spirit, even the positive ones.

The Bible can help us here. In the Book of Proverbs in the Old Testament, we read, Foolish people are easily upset, but wise people pay no attention to hurtful words. A person’s wisdom makes them patient. They will be honoured if they forgive someone who sins against them. That’s Proverbs 12 and Proverbs 19. With God’s help, we can take a step back from hurtful criticism or hateful words and seek His wisdom on the matter.

We can extend mercy to the offender and let it go. Not easy, I know. We forgive people who foolishly run their mouths or are puffed up experts on matters they know nothing about. This saves us a lot of anger and emotional pain, but sometimes it’s not possible. It brings a sense of peace, however, knowing that God can help sort out the issue rather than leaving us too ourselves and our own reactions, and deep wounds need time to heal. Sometimes we need to take steps to stop a critic from doing more harm to us and probably hurting somebody else. No one has the right to be rude, to put us down, belittle us, or judge us harshly. I’m not saying we should ignore the situation. We must let go of our need to have people understand us all the time. We need to hesitate on straightening them out.

We just have to accept that some people will never get what we’re on about. Some offences may deeply shock and anger us, and we’ll need time to process what happened. Spend time in prayer and meditation. God knows what happens. He wants to help you through an unpleasant experience. There are times when destructive criticism hurts because we have the pride that needs to be rooted out.

Hope 103.2 is proudly supported by

There may be some sore spots of emotional pain that have been triggered. They may be in need of healing. Is there some truth in what people have said about us? My stubborn nature may prevent me from looking honestly at my motives, and remember, we are accountable to God for what we do and say. Not that other person, he or she must face God one day and give an account of their actions.

Let’s Pray

Dear God, I know that criticism can be deeply offensive, but Lord, let me think. Maybe that person’s criticism is valid. I may need to look at myself closely. Lord, I come before you today and my friends who may be in need of healing from the past, and criticism that stopped them developing into the people they want to be. Bless them with your strength and peace. I pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.