The Gift of Tears – Part 2

Have you noticed how often tears are triggered by a word of kindness or a feeling of safety? That’s why church is such a common place to cry, friends’ care and God’ s presence are a powerful combination for inducing healing years.

Tears are one way we communicate. Our honest feelings, whether we intend to or not. They draw others to share in what is difficult to bear alone. This is good because it makes us all stronger. All humans cry when they get hurt, whether the pain is physical or emotional. Why would nature and God have created this complex biochemical drama, if weeping weren’t part of the intricate beauty of human being?

Actually, tears serve to clear excess hormones out of our system. If these hormones don’t flow out, they become toxins, harmful to our system. Tears do a vital cleansing job for our bodies. In fact they may help some people from accumulating stress that contributes to cancer and strokes. Crying leaves us more available to think clearly about our situation and resolve the difficulties. Most of us know about having ‘a good cry’. It leaves us feeling emotionally lighter. It was Shakespeare who wrote ‘to weep is to make less the depth of grief’.

And remember the crying will eventually stop anyway. Many who have held back their tears for too long fear that if they begin, they will never be able to stop. But this is not correct. Your tears will run out. Tears are God’s gift for us – washing our wounded souls clear.

For us men there are some myths that need changing. A man’s man is big brave and strong. We are raised to be competitive, and value comes on a man’s ability to win, be brave, bigger and stronger. But in reality, true strength has very little to do with the physical. Being a man has to do with so much more.

A man’s man isn’t emotional, and doesn’t express affection. Things have changed in the last 10 to 15 years. But still boys, somewhere along the way, have learned that men suppress emotions and remain calm, cool and collected at all times, even in the midst of a crisis. But the reality is that men are emotional, even if they are not in touch with their emotions. Jesus, as a man, expressed and experienced deep emotions.

And finally, a man’s man is not weak and shouldn’t cry. Men have grown up learning that crying is a demonstration of weakness. They learn to repress emotions of pain and grief. But the truth is that real men have the ability to express pain and grief with appropriate tears. Fathers should help their sons to grow to the place where they can appropriately and securely demonstrate tears in times of pain, grief, and crisis.

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