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Humans are born wired for connection. It’s in our DNA just as strong as the need for water, food, and warmth. And if you look at a newborn baby, it makes sense. Unless babies successfully attached to their mother, they really won’t be able to survive. Human infants are born completely helpless. They are entirely reliant on their care. A loving, secure relationship is literally a matter of life and death for babies.

It’s obvious that most of us like to make a connection with friends, perhaps at work during a break. There’s nothing unusual about that. Most people like to make that move to meet up with others, to brighten our day, to increase our sense of joy and purpose. Maybe that’s why we love coffee so much, because it brings us together to talk and to share about our experiences.

Especially if we live on our own and there’s no one to talk to when we get home. The advent of social media was supposed to bring us all together, but social media is not the best way to build genuine relationships because many of us lead fast-paced lives, and commitments pull us in many different connections. So social media, it’s there to connect people with each other. I can be your friend, but does that really constitute a meaningful connection? I don’t think it does. We can share many things on social media, but it never substitutes for a real person to person meeting where I can see you and share with you.

What makes for a meaningful connection?

In her popular book Daring Greatly, Dr Brené Brown says, we are wired for connection. It’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. I think what she means is we all need people to love and respect, and we need people who love and respect us. We don’t always recognize these needs. We may not see them influencing those around us, but they’re still there, and studies have shown that people who have quality relationships live longer, happier, healthier lives as opposed to those who shun others, preferring their own company. It takes courage to be able to be honest about the parts of ourselves that we’re not so fond of, and yet, due to our fears of disconnection, we might find ways to cover up those things.

Things that make us less lovable or worthy of connection, we hide our true selves in case our friends shun us or turn away. We do feel vulnerable and inadequate about issues in our lives, and often we try to cover them up by pretending or overcompensating. It was Michelle Obama who wrote something very interesting in her documentary called Becoming. She said, if we can open up a little bit more to each other and share our stories, our real stories, that’s what breaks down the barriers.

In order to do that, she said, you have to believe that your story has value. Dare to be vulnerable. There’s a plus in all this, and the plus is the almighty God who created us to share life with others. God made us to need other people, and building lasting relationships is important for our own happiness.

And if you struggle in getting along with others, maybe my thoughts will help here a bit because the Bible teaches it’s not good for us to be alone. We need others to discover who we are. It’s the way God made us or hard wired us. Relationships with others, yes, it can be difficult, but it’s still the best way to live with others. We were designed by God to be relational both with Him and with others.

In the words we use, whether they’re written or spoken, they have the power to help knit us together or push us apart, and I’m sure you can relate to what I’m saying this morning. And because we are unique, there will be the inevitable clashes and differences of opinion. We live in this world that’s often fragmented and disconnected, and yet we’ve got plenty of opportunities to bring hope and purpose, not only to ourselves but to others. Christians are expected to love others as part of a family. That means reaching out to those who are lonely or struggling and offering a helping hand.

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God understands that loving others is not always easy, but he stands right behind us, giving us all the support we need. Jesus said, Love one another as I have loved you, so you must love one another. That’s John 13:34. It sounds so simple, doesn’t it? But it’s the biggest challenge we face. Not everyone is easy to love. Fortunately, God understands, giving us the support we need.

Let’s Pray

Heavenly Father, because I live in this world, I must be able to get on with other people. I pray, Lord, that you will help each of us to understand how important it is to be connected, to make a valuable connection, and this is a prayer I ask in the name of Jesus. Amen.

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