When Christmas Feels Lonely, Do This ->

The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare shared two in five Australians have felt lonely at least some of the time in the past week, and that loneliness can be exacerbated during the Christmas period.

Key points:

While the ideal Christmas is a season of joy, togetherness and celebration, many Australians quietly experience loneliness, disconnection and emotional strain during the holidays.

Recent data from the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare shows that two in five Australians have felt lonely at least some of the time in the past week, and that loneliness can be exacerbated over Christmas.

For psychologist Garrett Huston from Psychology South & Wellbeing Services, part of Clarity Health Care, this isn’t surprising.

“Loneliness is an odd one, because you could be alone in a room full of people,” Garrett told Hope 103.2.

“It’s basically your brain telling you that you need connection.”

Social media can make the experience even harder.

We need to be aware of our self-talk, especially when expectations don’t match reality, and remind ourselves of what’s true.

“You start comparing your holiday experience with other people. You see all these gorgeous highlights online, or you long for how things used to be,” Garrett said.

“Loneliness can be masked. People can be very lonely and not show a thing, but it’s what they’re feeling inside.”

To address the emotions Christmas can raise, Garrett encouraged people to meet themselves with kindness rather than judgement.

“Just because you’re lonely, that doesn’t define you,” Garrett said.

“Different doesn’t mean worse. It’s okay to rest and keep things simple.”

We need to be aware of our self-talk, especially when expectations don’t match reality, and remind ourselves of what’s true.

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“You can tell yourself, ‘I can create moments of comfort. Even if I’m not connecting as much as I’d like, I can take small steps right now,’” Garrett said.

Those steps might include reaching out to one trusted person, volunteering, or reconnecting with faith.

“You might not have been to church for a while, but engaging in your faith can be a meaningful way to feel connected,” Garrett said.

Family gatherings can also bring tension so “set realistic expectations… Identify your triggers, stay away from certain topics, and remember you don’t have to participate in every conversation.”
Clear but gentle boundaries can help.

Family gatherings can also bring tension so “set realistic expectations”.

“You’re not going to suddenly get along with that grumpy uncle,” Garrett said.

“Identify your triggers, stay away from certain topics, and remember you don’t have to participate in every conversation.” Clear but gentle boundaries can help.

“You can say, ‘I’d rather not talk about that today,’ or excuse yourself to check on the turkey,” Garrett said.

“Spend time with the people who make you feel grounded. That gives you the social battery to cope with the rest.”

Above all, Garrett reminded listeners that support is available.

“Loneliness isn’t a weakness. It’s a signal that we need care, connection or comfort,” Garrett said.

Listen to the full conversation in the player above.

Head to our Counselling and Helplines page for support information and resources.

Feature image: Canva Pro