Have you ever found yourself asking ‘how did I get here?’. Wondering, in life’s hurried pace and despite all your best intentions, how you arrived somewhere you never expected to be. Somewhere marked with disappointment perhaps, or just despondence and lethargy?
Christine Caine is one of the most tenacious and bold speakers of our generation. In her work as an evangelist and the founder of global anti trafficking agency A21, she’s earned a reputation for being an energetic straight-shooter who isn’t easily fazed.
That changed in 2016-2018, Christine told Hope103.2’s UNDISTRACTED podcast, when sequential family deaths and a betrayal from a friend left her feeling unusually drained and weary.
“I was so bombarded emotionally,” Christine said.
“There was a weariness in my soul and I found things to distract me.
“There were things in me where before I wanted to build bridges and meet people [and then] it was like, ‘You know what? I might just go into hiding’.”
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The experience framed Christine’s latest book, How Did I Get Here?, A place she describes as one of “drifting” where “pain and disappointment” subtly altered her course.
For the first time Christine wasn’t asking “could she do all she dreamed of? Was it even possible?”, but instead wondered “do I even want to?”.
“I just thought, ‘You know if I just take my foot off the gas a bit, nobody’s really going to notice’,” Christine said.
“I’m still a Christian, I’m not doing anything bad, but I’m just not going to press ‘Chris Caine’ style: all in, full on, let’s go charge hell with a water pistol,” she laughed.
Along with her personal pressures, Christine believes her feelings describe what is common among so many people right now, who feel weighed down by a world that’s tumultuous on every level – from government, to social angst and religious deconstructionism.
“People are feeling pressure like never before,” Christine said.
“I have never like in the last year seen so many leaders who have quit or want to quit, so I think some of what I went through [in the last few years] was preparing me for now.”
What re-oriented Christine, was realising once again the unchanging nature of Christ, and how sure He is as a foundation to build your life upon.
“If Jesus is this hope we have as an anchor for our soul (Hebrews 6:19), where are we really anchored in this time?” Christine said. “It’s a time where really have to check our anchor.”
“If Jesus is this hope we have as an anchor for our soul, where are we really anchored in this time?” – activist, evangelist and author Christine Caine
One upside Christine sees to today’s landscape – particularly where we’re “cancelling” anyone deemed to have misstepped – is how it will deepen people’s understanding of forgiveness and mercy.
These are “things that ultimately only God can give us, and sometimes it takes what’s happening now for people to go, ‘Oh my gosh, this is what mercy means’.”
Christine’s new book How Did I Get Here? is out now. Listen to the full UNDISTRACTED interview in the podcast player above or wherever you get your podcasts.