No One Ever Listens to Me — Morning Devotions

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Transcript

Someone has said that in the 1st year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the 2nd year, the woman speaks and the man listens. And in the 3rd year of marriage, they both speak and the neighbours listen. Well, it might be just a joke, but perhaps closer to the truth than we like to admit.

How easy to raise our voice in anger or protest if we think we’re not being listened to. The truth is that we do communicate with one another in our marriages and with our children, our friends, our co-workers, but we don’t always do a good job of it.

How long is it since someone has taken time to listen carefully to what you’re saying?

Listening is not the same thing as hearing.

We sometimes use those two words interchangeably, but hearing involves simply hearing the words. Listening is paying attention to someone.

There was a cartoon where the wife is talking to her husband. I’ve got the test results back from your ear doctor. You’re not hearing impaired, you’re listening impaired, and someone has explained the difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is through the ears, but listening is through the mind. Perhaps it would be better explained, but listening is through the heart. I think you know what I mean. Listening is an act when someone says, right now I’m here for you. I want to hear what you’ve got to say, and I want to understand what you have to say because I care about what you’re going to say.

Deep within every human being is a desire to be heard.

We all need from time to time to let go of those thoughts that might be bottled up inside and to share them with someone we trust.

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Thomas Hart put it well when he said, there is probably no service we can render other people quite as great or important as to be a listener and to receive them in those moments when they need to open their hearts and tell someone their story.

It’s so natural to talk and not realise you’ve said very much.

You probably have met that person who talks too much. It was Mark Twain who said it’s better not to speak and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all the doubt. Have you ever found yourself in a conversation when you’re not really listening but just waiting for your turn to talk, or have you ever interrupted someone because you thought you knew what they were going to say next? It’s no surprise that the Bible has got some specific teaching about listening.

James chapter 1 verse 19 in the New Testament says everyone should be quick to listen, but they should be slow to speak, and that Bible verse is very much in line with Stephen Covey’s wise words. He said, Listen with the intent to understand, not the intent to reply.

Do you try to understand others? Do you really want to understand?

It doesn’t come naturally.

We need to ask for God’s help and practise. I’m sure that many times I’ve jumped in during an important conversation with my advice when all that other person wanted was my undivided attention. A thoughtful response is more beneficial than a quick one because we can reflect on both what we should say and how we should say it when we thoughtfully consider those to whom we’re speaking.

We are more likely to offer something which they will be able to receive anyway. A word spoken with gentleness and sincerity is often more likely to be received than a word offered flippantly and carelessly. If your friend doesn’t sense that you care, they’re unlikely to take your advice or even your comfort. They may not take them very seriously at all.

Listen again to the New Testament words from Philippians chapter 2. Don’t do anything only to get ahead. Don’t be proud. Instead, be humble and value others more than yourself.

This is in line with the teaching of Jesus, who said we should love our neighbour. The problem lies within ourselves. We put ourselves as number one instead of considering others first. Let’s listen to what God says to us and respond.

As proverbs in the Old Testament says, don’t be wise in your own eyes. Have respect for the Lord. Becoming a good and wise listener has to do with respecting and appreciating each other, validating that person as someone we can learn from. God may have even placed that person in your path for a specific reason. Sometimes it takes a conscious effort to take the time to ask questions, to listen, and deeply consider the thoughts and opinions of others.

Let’s Pray

Heavenly Father, how true it is we’ve got two ears and one mouth, and it’s more important to listen than to speak. Help me not to be that person who is always talking and never listening. I want to be available and aware, Lord, that people are needing to vent. They have feelings that they want to share. And when that time comes, help me to listen carefully and with true grace and humility, because I believe that’s what you want from me. I pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.

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