Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. (NLT)
Someone, somewhere, wrote of a person who was such a good friend to others that she would happily throw them in deep water simply for the pleasure of being able to rescue them. An extreme example of the sort of personality that insists on controlling others, that manipulates their way into becoming indispensable.
Love for others may well involve occasional rescue missions, and there are seasons of love where we have to be very involved in another’s life and take some sort of charge. But to make this the norm in our relationships is to distort them. It is easy to confuse love and control. Love requires us to do good to others. Control involves us assuming we decide what is good, that we have the answers.
There is a certain busybody mindset that wants to penetrate all the details of someone’s life under the guise of showing love. There is a messianic mindset that wants to be the solution to their problems. There is a controlling mindset that demands that they follow our desired agenda with the implied threat of withdrawal of our “love” if our advice is not heeded.
We have two options in caring for others. One is to play God to them. The other is to bring God to them.
Blessings
David
After an inspirational run on Hope 103.2, Lifewords with David Reay will be delivering its final reflection on Friday 27 January. But, great news, David contributes to Real Hope devotions along with a variety of other deep faith thinkers that will be delivered straight to your inbox from Monday 30 January – so you won’t have to skip a devotional beat! If you prefer an audio version, we also have Real Hope – The Podcast.
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