This week ‘Sam’s Poem to…’ has been taken over by an Open Letter to The Supermarket. Enjoy.
Listen: Sam reads his open letter to The Supermarket live in Breakfast with Sam & Duncan
Sam’s Open Letter to The Supermarket
Dear Local Supermarket,
Hi. It’s me – Samuel. You might remember me from such experiences as ‘three-year-old drops egg on floor in front of fridge section’, and that other time when I couldn’t find the bicarb soda and after wandering around for 15 minutes I resorted to asking for help.
I write with a level of concern. Not because I saw a toddler licking an apple the other day before putting it back among the other apples. Nor because I saw someone checking the ripeness of the avocados with what looked like a vice grip. No, I’m writing because I’m having major issues with your self-serve checkout area.
I understand that due to security concerns, everything must be placed in the bagging area. I know that everything that goes there needs to be weighed, but to be frank, the scales are more sensitive than my teeth meeting a bowl of ice cream. And there’s only so many times that I must be told to place the item in the bagging area, when the item already is in the bagging area, so I hit the button that says ‘skip bagging’ and then the checkout freezes up, and I have to flag the assistant who is tending to three others experiencing the same problem, before they come over, gander in my bag like I’ve stolen stuff, then scan their lanyard and punch in random numbers until the error is cleared, and then we get to experience the whole thing over again.
(Thanks, by the way, to Gabrielle, who got me out of that pickle seven times in a row last week, before closing the checkout after I had paid so nobody else would have to experience the same level of trauma. If there’s an employee of the month, you should be it.)
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And despite all of this, I know when I next shop and see that the queues for the traditional checkouts stretch back to the aisles, I’ll go through self serve thinking it will be quicker.
Spoiler: It won’t be.
So dear supermarket, I plead with you to fix your bagging stations. You are forcing my hand toward ALDI where someone sitting down will scan stuff for me but I’ll have to bag it myself – which still to this day makes no sense, but that’s a matter for another open letter.