If you had to choose three adjectives to describe your relationship with your husband, what would they be?
Words like fun, close, exciting, fulfilling, silly or passionate? Or adjectives like boring, routine, strained, frustrating, or lonely?
While each marriage is going to have its own dynamics, and no marriage is perfect all the time, if you find yourself choosing more negative adjectives than positive ones, it may be time to take some action.
For many couples, it can be really easy to fall into the trap of “same old, same old” – especially after kids come along. With work, chores and looking after kids, falling on the couch and watching TV or playing games on our phones can seem so much easier than spending quality time together and having serious conversations. Until, before long, you start to feel more like roommates than lovers.
That’s why if you want a strong, close marriage that stands the test of time, you have to build some quality time in where you can. Here are 25 suggestions that might help you bond again, and maybe spark your own unique ideas, too.
1. Bike Riding
Bike rides are great for your health and your relationship! Not only can you get some fresh air, sunshine, and exercise, but they also provide plenty of time to talk and explore together. This is an especially great option if your spouse’s love language is quality time.
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2. Cook Together
Cooking can be a real chore… but if you cook together and make something delicious, it can actually be a lot of fun too! Skip the weeknight fish and chips, and whip up something delicious to enjoy together once the kids are in bed.
3. Take a Class
Is there anything you’ve been wanting to learn for a while now? Signing up for a class is a great way to commit to a regular night out, doing something interesting and enjoyable.
If you have mountains or hiking trails in your area, going out for a hike is a great way to put the devices aside and spend some quality, uninterrupted time together, just exploring and talking. The first time might be a bit awkward if you’re not used to having that much free time together to talk, but I have a feeling you’ll quickly fall in love!
5. Go to the Gym
Depending on what amenities your local gym offers, going to the gym can be a great way to spend time together — with drop-in-anytime childcare built in! While lifting weights or running on treadmills near each other can work, you might also look for a gym that offers a pool or racquetball — something you can do together.
6. Go for a Walk
This is one of the easiest, cheapest ways to spend time together. It doesn’t require any notice — just up and go for a walk, if the weather is nice! If you’re going on a short walk, you can even leave the kids home without a babysitter if they’re old enough.
7. Play Mini Golf
When’s the last time you played mini-golf? If it’s been a while, it might be time to go! It’s cheap, low-key, and fun. You don’t have to be any good — just go and goof off together!
8. Go Horseback Riding
My husband took my horseback riding one year for my birthday, and it was so much fun! This probably isn’t something you could do on a regular basis (unless you know someone or can get a great deal), but it’s so much fun if you can go!
9. Visit Parks
You probably take your kids to the park regularly, but when is the last time you and your husband went to a park for a while to just hang out and be together? Pack and picnic and enjoy the day!
10. Start a Garden
I’m not much of a gardener myself, but some people find it very relaxing. Plus, you don’t even need childcare. Just set up a standing date — every Saturday, just the two of you, out in the garden.
11. Go Fishing
Here’s an idea I bet you can get your husband to agree to! You don’t even have to fish yourself. Just enjoy the sunshine, boat ride and quiet, kid-free conversation while your husband casts a line. (Although, if you want to fish too, I bet that would earn you some major wife points too!)
This is such a great way to spend time together, but often one of the most overlooked! Finding volunteer opportunities is easier than you think. Simply search online for “Volunteer opportunities + your city,” and chances are you’ll find at least and organisation or two that regularly sets up events you can help out with. You can also ask at church or your children’s school to see if anyone knows of any opportunities.
13. Play Board Games
Another great idea that’s super cheap and doesn’t require planning in advance or finding childcare. If all you have at home are kids games like Snakes and Ladders or Connect 4, invest in a grown-up game as well!
14. Go Bowling
My husband and I used to do this weekly when my oldest was a baby… I never got any good at it though! We went on $1 bowling night, so it was super cheap. Definitely worth looking to see if there’s a “cheap” night in your area.
15. Read a Book (Join a Book Club)
Are you both readers? Then you might enjoy reading through a book or even joining a book club together. I’d recommend asking at your local library to see if they have any existing book clubs. If not, you can always make your own!
16. Bible Study/Church Group
Are you involved with your church’s Bible study / married’s group? If not, this is another super easy thing you can join to have a night out of the house together. Not only will you grow your relationship, but you’ll grow your faith too.
17. Go to a Concert
If you both enjoy the same type of music, a concert is always a fun time! You can either buy tickets for a large concert with a group you love, or simply check out what sorts of live music or festivals are happening nearby. Even if the music isn’t stellar, it’s still a great way to get out of the house and spend some time together.
18. Go Camping
This is a great way to surprise your husband, if he’s the camping type, and it comes with the added benefit of getting out of the house overnight! Personally, I love waking up to the sounds of nature outside. If you’re the type who likes your comfort, make sure you bring an air mattress!
19. Play Tennis
This is one hobby I’d personally love to take up with my husband this summer. Tennis courts are often fenced in or near parks, so you can enjoy fun, active time together outdoors, while your kids play nearby. No childcare, but you still get that time to yourself. (And it’s super cheap.)
20. Go Swimming
No one is worried about what you look like in a swimsuit, but you. Go! Have fun! This is a great place to be playful and flirt, and your marriage will be that much stronger because of it.
21. Go Canoeing or Kayaking
If you live anywhere near a river, chances are there are places that allow you to do canoe rentals for just a few hours, then they’ll pick you up at the end. This is a great way to enjoy a beautiful day and some one-on-one together.
22. Take Dance Lessons
This is something I’ve wanted to do for years, but we haven’t done it yet! Have you?
23. Go to Painting Nights
Seems like these types of places are popping up ALL over the place lately. Basically, you can choose a wooden sign or canvas, and they’ll teach you how to paint the design. You paint your beautiful creations right next to each other, and then you have a beautiful memento to take home with you afterwards. And don’t worry — they make it VERY easy, so no painting skills are required.
24. Try an Escape Room
Because escape rooms are a little more pricey, this probably isn’t a hobby you could do every single week/month, but it’s definitely worth trying out if you haven’t been to one yet! We went a couple of years ago, and it really did foster teamwork and fun. We made a memory, for sure!
25. Join Community Sports Leagues
Are you the competitive type? If so, you may want to join a co-ed sports team in your area if you can find one. It will definitely bring out a different side of you than what you’re used to seeing just sitting on the couch at home, taking care of little ones!
Article supplied with thanks to Equipping Godly Women. About the Author: Brittany is a wife, a mother of three, a writer, author, teacher, and lover of Jesus!