By Laura BennettMonday 5 Aug 2024Hope AfternoonsParentingReading Time: 3 minutes
Domestic Violence. Everyone’s talking about it.
Key points:
- “The way the dad behaves towards the mother and the dad behaves towards other people, sets a model for children.”
- “Active fatherhood actually breaks cycles of violence by demonstrating that those healthy relationships are really important and challenging behaviors that are not healthy.”
- It takes a village to raise healthy men, Kati said.
- Hear the full conversation in the listener above.
One of the questions being raised is, who is standing up to drive change? Who is taking the lead in training young boys, shaping healthy attitudes towards women? Is there a specific role that dads play in addressing some of these issues?
Kati Gapaillard is the CEO of the Fathering Project, an organisation dedicated to improving children’s physical, mental and emotional wellbeing and preventing harm by advocating for positive engaged fatherhood.
She joined Hope Afternoon’s Laura Bennett to discuss these important questions.
“Dads can model respectful nonviolent behavior and they set a positive example for their children and others,” Kati said.
“The way the dad behaves towards the mother and the dad behaves towards other people, sets a model for children.”
“Of course, the way the dad behaves towards the mother and the dad behaves towards other people, sets a model for children.”
We all know that the old adage is true: children won’t necessarily do what you tell them to do, but they will be watching you and will mimic your behaviour. This is extremely relevant when it comes to watching how fathers interact with and respect women and mothers in particular.
“If you’ve ever sat down with a teenage boy and tried to have a conversation with them across a table, you will know that all you get is a couple of grunts and the rest of the time will be silenced really,” Kati said.
“But if you are sitting doing something together and they see you behaving in a certain way, they pick up so much more from that than you sitting down talking to them.
“Role modeling is so important and active fatherhood actually breaks cycles of violence by demonstrating that those healthy relationships are really important and challenging behaviors that are not healthy.
“Active fatherhood actually breaks cycles of violence by demonstrating that those healthy relationships are really important and challenging behaviors that are not healthy.”
“There is an urgent need to embed caring for children into the culture of fatherhood, making it a central societal norm so that we don’t have dads thinking they have to be out there earning money and somebody else is looking after their child or the mum’s looking after their child, but that they should be caring for their child as well.”
The Fathering Project recently hosted a summit, where people from all over Australia gathered to contribute to this important conversation. One of the main takeaways from the event was the importance of understanding how to support fathers.
“And we need to have an understanding that each of them brings a different thing to the table,” Kati added.
So how can we raise healthy men? Kati said it takes a community effort.
It takes a village to raise healthy men, Kati said.
“There are a lot of father figures without you realizing, if you are a man, walking around doing things in your community, there are kids that are looking at you and there are kids that are modeling what you are doing,” she said.
“What’s really important is to encourage boys to develop respect and empathy by direct teaching and also by modeling those behavior in your daily interactions.
“We try and make sure that our boys recognise, express and manage their emotions healthily.
“We promote mental wellbeing and resilience with everything that we do, and dads and mums need to be doing that together so that our kids grow up, boys and girls grow up to be resilient, healthy, confident children and adults.”
Hear the full conversation in the listener above.
Article provided with thanks to Laura Bennett. Laura is the host of Hope Afternoons and producer of a number of our podcasts, including UNDISTRACTED with Laura Bennett.
Feature image: CanvaPro