Let’s talk frankly: it may be quite some time until we get out of this isolation predicament.
My eyebrow is twitching just a little at that prospect, so I felt that, similar to the bushfire rating system, we might institute a Cabin Fever Rating Scale: something simple that every Hopelander can use to clearly communicate how they are feeling.
I don’t consider myself an expert at this, but I felt it might look a little something like this, following five simple codes:
Level 1 – Code Green-Fields
Everything is fine, not a problem, smooth sailing. We are rock-stars in the world of isolation.
Level 2 – Code Banana Blender
I wouldn’t say there are cracks, but the house is starting to get messy. Things have not turned; apart from the usual weirdness here at home we are okay. I am, however, approaching the end of my things-to-do ideas, and my wits.
Level 3 – Code Tuna Milkshake
Things have taken a turn for the worse, the wheels are starting to come off and it’s getting officially weird. The internet has slowed and there are now 97 devices connected. I haven’t showered today, but I don’t think anyone has noticed.
Level 4 – Code Crimson Tide
Okay, it’s getting sketchy – the kids have formed a tribe with war paint on their faces, they are setting up an independent dictatorship, and have stolen the remote. Just like the movie, I think there is some secret underwater military espionage going on at home. Please help.
Level 5 – Code Magenta Hurricane
We have a full-blown isolation catastrophe looming. Personal cardboard forts have been built and we are in a full-scale mental apocalypse. Send help immediately. The kids have eaten through the entire pantry and are now eating dry Sao’s; it’s awful.
Level 6 – Code Indigo Midnight
Raging dumpster fire underway…Comm-nicat–n…..Patchy….Situa–n……Critica…..
So where are you on the Cabin Fever Rating right now? I’m at Banana Blender: we’re still all good, but things are definitely getting unclean…