By Open HouseMonday 2 Feb 2015Open House InterviewsParentingReading Time: 2 minutes
We all know children can be difficult and hard to understand, especially girls. Di Wilcox sheds some light on how to connect with your daughters to help them learn about the way they should view themselves, what they should expect in marriage and how to handle life troubles like bullying.
The mother and daughter relationship is universally acknowledged as unique, but Di Wilcox believes that most people don’t realise how important it is in developing the girl’s perception of life, love and relationships. “Mothers are their daughter’s number one role model” says Di, “our children are watching us all the time.” Younger girls often mimic their mothers in a superficial way, clomping around in their mother’s gigantic heels or smearing lipstick across their face.
Children need to see their parents as a whole person
Yet, as the daughter grows and matures, they often survey their mothers more deeply often taking on their insecurities, level of self-confidence and decision making processes. “Children need to see their parents as a whole person,” urges Wilcox, show them that having a bad day or making mistakes is normal and there are ways to cope with it.
However, this responsibility doesn’t rest on the mother alone. As the first and one of the most important men in a girl’s life, her father also sets an example. First a foremost, he sets the standard for what girls expect to find in a man. Similarly, his attitude and actions towards his wife gives the daughter a benchmark to reach in her own marriage. Fathers are also a major role model for their daughters, only from the male perspective.
As parents, by teaching confidence and resilience and peaceful conflict resolution, they can learn how to deal with troubling situations, like bullying, in a peaceful way ensuring they know their worth but also are not a bully in return. This can be pressuring for parents, which is why Di Wilcox runs specialized workshops to help families learn to communicate, connect and harmoniously resolve conflict in the home.
There can be a lot of pressure on parents in current times, but Di Wilcox gives some practical advice and encourages parents to stop being hard on themselves. “Every child is different; different personalities and different problems.” If you love your children and keep your communication lines open with your children, “that’s a good start and everything will be OK.”