By Hope 103.2Thursday 18 Apr 2024Health and WellbeingReading Time: 3 minutes
From letting our kids lead the conversation to – surprisingly! – blowing on our thumbs, Youth Coach Kim Conicella has some great, practical tips for people wanting to help kids – and themselves – process difficult emotions and conversations.
Key points
- When we start the conversation by asking a child what they already know, think and feel about a situation, we’re helping them feel validated.
- “A cold glass of water can get you out of that spiral of going downwards in all of these big thoughts that are happening,” Kim said.
- “Blowing on your thumb stimulates the vegas nerve which calms our whole body down,” Kim advises.
- Hear the full conversation in the listener above.
“Letting kids lead the conversation is really important,” Kim said.
When we start the conversation by asking a child what they already know, think and feel about a situation, we’re helping them feel validated. And by doing taking this approach, we acknowledge that what they already know and how they feel, and think is important.
From here, we’re able to give them an appropriate level of information.
When we start the conversation by asking a child what they already know, think and feel about a situation, we’re helping them feel validated.
As the Owner of The Courage Edition, Kim helps kids, tweens and their families overcome bullying, cyber bulling and friendship conflicts.
“If you do let them lead the conversation, you’re not going into that conversation giving them too much information,” she said.
“Because you might start the conversation somewhere where they’re not ready, they’re not already at.
“It’s [about] finding out their bases, finding out their foundation and then working from there.”
Practical strategies
We all need help regulating our emotions, no matter how old we are. Kim shares her tried and true tips, which work for children, tweens, teens and adults.
“The first thing for adults is really learning the art of being self-aware and learning how to step out of the spiral by taking five minutes,” she said.
Cool glass of water
“One thing that I teach adults and kids is to go and drink a cold glass of water.
“A cold glass of water can get you out of that spiral of going downwards in all of these big thoughts that are happening,” Kim said.
“That can get you out of that spiral of going downwards in all of these big thoughts that are happening.
“The coldness actually sort of gives you a minute to back up and go, ‘Ok hang on, how can I approach this?’
Blowing on your thumb
“For kids, one of the things that I’ve used is blowing on your thumb – which sounds really weird, but it actually stimulates the vegas nerve which calms our whole body down,” Kim explained.
“My son’s 7, he really struggles with anxiety.
“I didn’t think that this was one that was going to work with him.
“Blowing on your thumb stimulates the vegas nerve which calms our whole body down,” Kim advises.
“He’d sort of roll his eyes, but he loves it, and it works so well!”
Kim explains the importance of modeling self-regulation as an adult.
“I even do that as a parent, whenever I’m getting a bit worked up about things.
“My son will say to me, ‘Mum just blow on your thumb!’ – and that’s what we do.
“It really does work, so give that a go,” she encourages.
Feature image: Photo sourced on Facebook/The Courage Edition