Listen: Ally Barnes chats with Dr Kerry Howells about the close link between gratitude and resentment
It’s easy to find gratitude when you’re watching a beautiful sunset with your nearest and dearest. But how do you find it, when everything you do goes unappreciated and you start resenting the people around you?
Dr Kerry Howells has spent over 25 years researching, teaching, and practicing gratitude. She’s launched her new book Untangling You: How Can I Be grateful When I Feel So Resentful?
On Hope Breakfast, Dr Kerry explained, “gratitude can help us feel more connected to others, calmer, more engaged and it’s good at warding off negative states like resentment”.
“Resentment is known as the emotion of justice… It lodges itself in our psyche and it’s really hard to let go of, and we often feel if we let it go we’re condoning someone else’s behaviour. But it lingers and festers.”
She explained the first step to finding gratitude is to acknowledge our resentment.
“This is not about willing yourself to be grateful, or using gratitude to put a veneer over a situation that needs attention but by acknowledging it, and starting the conversation, we can improve a situation,” Dr Kerry said.
“It’s a humble act, and courageous act to be the first to make a move even when we feel the other person should.”
Listen to the full conversation with Dr Kerry Howells in the player above.
Dr Kerry Howells joins the UNDISTRACTED with Laura Bennett podcast on Thursday 18 November.
Feature image: Unsplash / Uday Mittal