However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (NIV)
There have been cases of husbands and wives wondering if, after all, they have made the wrong choice of partner. Perhaps there is a mistaken idea that God has the absolute ideal person for you and you have somehow missed his guidance and had to settle for second best. You didn’t hit the bullseye and have missed the mark.
That is not only a misunderstanding of guidance but a misunderstanding of marriage or any relationship. Whoever we marry is going to be imperfect just as we are. God has no unalterable blueprint governing the details of our lives: he just wants us to grow to be more like Jesus.
Regarding marriage, it is futile to wonder about whether we have married “the right person”. Once you make those marriage vows, that person becomes the right person. My partner becomes the right person for me as we mutually love and respect each other. Just as God’s love for me helps me become the person I am meant to be, so it is with love and marriage.
All relationships, especially marriage, are played out in a landscape of human imperfection and are complicated by our conflicting desires and needs. We perhaps should not so much see our partners as the “right person” but ensure they are the loved person.
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