By Chris WittsFriday 28 Apr 2023Morning Devotions with Chris WittsFaithReading Time: 1 minute
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Transcript:
I read recently about a golden wedding anniversary party that was thrown for an elderly couple. The husband was very moved by the occasion and wanted to tell his wife what he thought of her. She was very hard of hearing, however, and often misunderstood what he said. With many family members and friends gathered around, he toasted her and said,” My dear wife, after 50 years I’ve found you tried and true! Everyone clapped for them, but his wife was a little irritated and asked, “What did you say?” So he repeated it again: “AFTER 50 YEARS, I VE FOUND YOU TRIED AND TRUE!” The wife was now visibly upset and shouted back, “Well, let me tell you something… after 50 years I’m tired of you too”! We might laugh at this story, but there’s a wonderful lesson here about significance and meaning. After 50 years of sharing married life, they get on well together, even with hearing difficulties.
Does your life have security and meaning? In a conversation a man was heard to say “Sometimes I simply feel that the whole world is a cigarette and I’m the only ashtray”. That’s a very sad statement – not much hope there.
Have you ever felt like that? Maybe you have .. it is just the way life is .. sometimes tough and difficult. But for some people it’s not just a feeling they have sometimes. It’s the way they feel all of the time and that is the root of lot’s of destructive behaviour. What has gone wrong when we see teenagers not happy at home, acting out their unhappiness with destructive behaviour. It may be there is no meaning to their life, they are looking for love and validation, they want to be seen as worthwhile people with a sense of security & significance. Did you know that our 2 most basic needs in life are security and significance? Security is the awareness of being unconditionally and totally loved, like the couple who had been married for 50 years. They accepted each other, warts and all … no strings attached. They loved each other for who they are. Men usually have a greater need for significance, and we need to know that what we do matters. Women generally think more about security in their own lives. But actually, both security and significance are essential for all of us.
So how do we find these qualities?
Our most basic problem in life is that we look to the wrong source for our security and significance. And within the context of a marriage,there’s a great lesson here. Husbands must respect and love their wives,just as wives need to do the same towards their husband. We are all frail people,and need help. Our needs can only be properly met through a relationship with God. Our God is our Heavenly Father who loves us in a way we can never understand. In Him we find true unconditional love and acceptance as a person.
Romans 5:6-8 “When we were still helpless, Christ died for us. God has shown us how much He loves us. It was while we were still sinners that Christ died for us”.
Why do you think the Bible says so much about God’s unconditional love for his people, if it’s not to build into us a sense of security? We are loved by a love that is freely given, that cannot be earned, and can therefore never be lost. If we look to God to meet our basic need for security, then we will not be vulnerable, because He will never fail us.
Life matters because God has given us abilities to make life enriching and exciting.
Romans 12:4-6a “We have many parts in one body, and all these parts have different functions. In the same way, though we are many, we are one body in union with Christ and we are all joined to each other as different parts of the body..” Why also do you think the Bible says so much about the fact that God is our Creator, that He is active in our lives from the very moment of conception, that He has gifted us, that He has plans for us, and that He desires to use us in various ministries, if it’s not to give us a basic sense of significance? Because He loves us unconditionally and is the only one who can love us this way. He is the only real source of security. And because He created us, gifted us, and called us to serve Him, our basic significance and self-worth must also be found in Him.
Now, if you are married, these truths can make an incredible impact on your own marriage. If I know I am secure and significant already, whether or not I happen to feel it at any moment, then I am free to minister to my spouse without building up walls of protection to avoid being hurt. Nothing my spouse can do or say can destroy my security or my sense of significance.
Our most basic responsibility is to encourage our mates, teach our children, and show our friends that security and significance comes from God by how we live with and love them. Look this is how it works: Once we believe, understand, and appropriate these truths, then we are able to reach out in love to our spouse. While it is true that our basic needs for security and significance are met through our relationship with God it is also true that God normally uses husbands and wives as His principal instruments to develop within each other and in our families the conscious awareness of unconditional love and personal worth. While marriage partners cannot add to the fact of one’s security and significance, they can help create an environment where those needs can be met in each other and with their children.
Unfortunately, many of us are not reinforcers but rejecters of what God wants to do in our mate’s life or in our children’s lives. We are so wrapped up in our own feelings, needs, and interests, that we often don’t even consider the needs of our spouse or those of our kids.
When we really grasp hold of these truths it changes the way we live with others.
Security & Significance changes how you live.