By Chris WittsFriday 3 May 2019Morning Devotions with Chris WittsFaithReading Time: 4 minutes
Can You Let Go of Wrongs
I have often heard people say I can forgive-but I will never forget. Its quite a challenging topic. Should we forget the wrongs done to us? Is it really possible.. to let go of the hurts we have experienced. Life has a habit of pushing us down especially when we have conflict of one kind or another. And strong feelings can rush in and we don’t know how to handle them-especially when we are hurt by someone else’s actions or hurts. People can be very unkind sometimes.
I read a really helpful book on this subject by Dr RT Kendall called ‘Total Forgiveness’. Revised in 2007 and published by Charisma House. If you ever see it on the bookshelves, buy a copy. You won’t be sorry. If you are prepared to totally forgive someone you may well have to learn how to forget. I’m not saying it’s easy – but the challenge is there nonetheless. Can you let go of the wrongs.
Dr Kendall tells of the remarkable TV interview on CNN in the US by the famous Larry King. You may have heard of this well known TV late- night host. And this particular episode made for riveting viewing for millions of viewers around America. Why He brought together disgraced TV evangelist Jim Baker and his former wife Tammy Fay Messner, who had remarried following their divorce. They had not been seen together on television for 15 years, but everyone knew something of the scandal that had enveloped them .. Jim Baker was a poplar evangelist who got himself into big trouble. He was urging his audience to send him money for houses that never existed. It was embezzlement on a huge scale and he was thrown into prison with the extraordinary charge of having to serve 45 years. He served 5 years and was released on appeal. A deeply humbling experience to say the least. He was eventually vindicated but not before his wife Tammy left him for his best friend Roe Messner. It was headline news at the time and did a great deal of damage to the church’s reputation and made many people cynical of the teachings of Christianity ….
Five years after his release from jail, Jim Baker re-married. His new wife’s name is Lori. So TV host Larry King invited all 4 onto his show for a chat together. How interesting. It made for riveting television that night. Each person had a story to tell – and it was full of ups and downs – deep hurts and inner wounds, and yet amazingly enough, wonderful stories of forgiveness. But there was a story of betrayal – a fellow Minister who betrayed Jim Baker, spreading lies about him, which led to his imprisonment. And the judge who sentenced him to 45 years – to make an example of a fallen minister .. and while he was in prison, his wife deserted him, and married his best friend. It sounded like a movie script. But Jim Baker realised , that if he was to die in prison, his wife Tammy had to get on with her life. He forgave Tammy for what she did. He quoted Nelson Mandela who saw prison as an ‘up’ experience, not a ‘down’ experience, and Jim realised he had to make the best of a bad situation …’my faith was growing stronger each year and it was the best training experience ever- better than my years in seminary. I now understand people so much better. When I travel around the world, people respond to me because I’ve been imprisoned. I learned I had to forgive everyone – my wife, the judge, those who hated me –”. Tammy Lee has forgiven Jim for his affair and said “I really like him. We were married for 30 years and we have 2 wonderful kids”. Larry King then asked if there was any jealousy in the room – no. None whatsoever. The 4 of them were friends . How could you explain that? And Jim Baker said “Only God can make people truly forgive.”
And there is the key – Jesus gave us the ultimate example of how to forgive when He willingly hung on a rough wooden cross and spoke those powerful words “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). Words are one thing – putting them into action is another. We can say ‘I forgive you’ but have I really done that? Forgiveness is hard. And that’s because forgiveness is so uncommon – ..Philip Yancey says we go to extraordinary lengths to justify ourselves, perpetuate family feuds, and punish others. We may say ‘I’ve buried the hatchet’. Really? Probably not. In Colossians 3:13 the original text says “Keep on forgiving one another’. So forgiveness is a continuous process…that’s why Jesus told Peter that we are to forgive one another not 7 times, but 70 times 7. There is a great deal of grace in the act of forgiving another person. It takes a lot of strength.