Does Time Erase All Hurts? – Hope 103.2

Does Time Erase All Hurts?

Does the passing of time erase the sting of tough moments? And one thing is for sure: we all have had tough and difficult moments in our lives. Some people say time does heal, others say no. There are those who feel that time can get rid of certain feelings, like hatred & resentment—but it […]

By Chris WittsWednesday 6 Jun 2018Morning Devotions with Chris WittsFaithReading Time: 5 minutes

Does the passing of time erase the sting of tough moments? And one thing is for sure: we all have had tough and difficult moments in our lives. Some people say time does heal, others say no. There are those who feel that time can get rid of certain feelings, like hatred & resentment—but it really can’t erase the memory of that matter, whatever it is.

Those who lose a loved one say almost without exception that time does not remove the sting. Stonewall Jackson once sang a love song called “Wound that time cannot erase”.

I think there is a better way to look at this—and I think that time does not heal all wounds. A better way of saying it is: It’s what you do with the time that heals.

Time may heal some wounds but there are others that require a lot more than time. When we have been abused in any way, when we have been lied to and betrayed by the very people we were taught were the only ones we could trust, we need a lot more time.

The anniversary of a loved one’s death becomes a difficult time in the calendar that reopens those wounds again. What is more accurate to say is that the loss of someone you love creates a permanent hole in your heart that never goes away. But you can build and strengthen the muscle around it by focusing on what you still have, working out ways you can integrate the memory of your loved one in your life. I know someone who plants a rose in their garden each anniversary. It’s a special time for them to remember.

Have you ever broken a glass and it shattered and scattered across the kitchen floor? All you could do was sweep it up and throw it away. And you would remind yourself not to go barefoot as tiny pieces of glass sometimes linger around in places you could not see.

Can you relate that to a broken heart that feels like it literally fell out on the floor and shattered into a million pieces? You probably felt as if you would never mend. The hurt is just too deep, too painful.

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So today I’m thinking of the saying: “Time heals all wounds”—but at the moment of the shattering, you can’t believe it. You want to look for brighter days and look beyond the horizon, but you look and see only grey days—and you know those days are hazy grey with absolutely no colour. There may even be a fine mist of rain and no clouds in sight. You can’t hear the birds singing because your mind is clouded.

Your broken heart can be from a relationship gone wrong, someone you loved has died, your child has gone astray, or perhaps your family may have moved away—you do not feel like you can go another moment, let alone another day. You ask yourself: “Am I depressed, oppressed, or just one big mess? Can God help me?”

Only God can mend your brokenness. He is the Potter and that is his specialty, moulding and making us during those trials and tears. We need to remain on the Potter’s wheel to be restored, but often we run to other places, things, or faces. It is wonderful to get support from a goofy friend or even prayer. But God your Heavenly Father created your heart and in your soul is where your mind, will and emotions live. Only Jesus can mend a broken heart, so don’t delay if you find yourself in need of repair!

Just as each of us goes through valleys in life, we will also experience times of hurt. Hurt can come from circumstances out of your control—they can arise from words spoken by people you care about, or from the evil devices of people bent on hurting us. The question is not if you will experience hurt, but how will you respond to the hurts you experience in life.

You can ignore it:

  1. Deny it: That didn’t hurt me. I’m not angry.
  2. Delay it: I’ll deal with that later. I don’t get mad I get even.
  3. Minimise it: It’s no big deal. It didn’t hurt so bad.

Ignoring your hurt never heals it. You’ve heard this saying, “Time heals all wounds”—but sometimes time makes the infection grow worse.

Denying it, delaying it, minimising it turns minor problems into major ones. Wounds get infected and spread when they aren’t dealt with. The psalmist writer David wrote in Psalm 39:2, “I kept completely silent, but it did no good, and I hurt even worse”.

Ignoring our hurt does not work—it makes it worse.

or you can run from it:

When people hurt they run. People run to watching TV, movies, drugs, shopping, divorce, alcohol, sex, food—whatever we can use to find relief. But when we return the problem is still there. Running doesn’t solve it.

Psalm 55:6-8 says: “I wish I had wings like a dove. Then I’d fly away and rest… I would hurry to my place of escape…”.

Can you identify? Maybe what weighs you down is just the burdens of life. An addiction; a sad family life; constant physical pain; or just an unrest in your soul that you can’t put a name to, but it is there.

then we can try and hide it:

“When I kept things to myself, I felt weak deep inside me. I moaned all day long.” (Psalm 32:3 – NCV)

Many of us are good at doing this. We wear a mask. We don’t tell anyone we hurt. We are quite good at camouflaging our pain. When someone asks if we are OK we say that everything is fine. We don’t like to admit that someone has hurt our feelings. If we admit that we are hurt we open ourselves up to more hurt—so we hide it.

And for some, it works—for a while. Eventually, the mask falls off.

The problem is, that the longer we ignore it, the more it festers and, if left untreated, will eventually come out somehow.

The sad reality is that there are people who are still carrying hurts from 30 or 40 years ago. Time has not healed—the wounds have festered and spread. God through his Holy Spirit is the only one who can bring healing.