Sue Augustine, who wrote When Your Past Is Hurting Your Present, says: “You may not be able to control what happens to you but you can control what happens within you.” “Our past can control today and tomorrow only to the degree we allow it. The past should not be a place where we dwell but a place from which we learn all we can and then move on.”
The Bible clearly says that love keeps no record of wrongs: “It (love) is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5 – NIV). In this verse Paul writes that love “keeps no record of wrongs.” The Greek word translated ‘record of wrongs’ is a bookkeeping term which means to make an entry in a ledger.
The purpose of entering numbers into a ledger is to make a permanent record so that you can go back, at a later date, and consult the entries you have made. In business that practice is very important and necessary; however, in personal relationships it is not only unnecessary, it is harmful. Our verse says that love does not do that. It does not make a permanent record of hurts and wrongs in order to hold those injuries against another person.
Resentment results from a record of wrong. Resentment is the writing down, in the book of memory, of all the wrongs and hurt that others have done to you. You keep track of them so that you can consult them in the future. The basis of resentment is hurt or anger that is turned inward.
If we stop and consider it for a moment, resentment is unreasonable and irrational. It is not worth the effort. The book of Job tells us that to worry yourself to death with resentment would be a foolish, senseless thing to do (Job 5:2). Additionally, Proverbs 17:22 (NIV) tells us that “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up your life.” Carrying the burden of resentment has a draining effect on your body. It can dry you up into a shell of a person, if you allow it.
We can agree that resentment is hurtful; however, the challenge is what can be done about it. First of all, admit it, face up to it. You start the healing process by admitting that you’re hurting. We see this illustrated in Job 7:11 (NIV): “Therefore I will not keep silent; I will speak out in the anguish of my spirit, I will complain in the bitterness of my soul”. God allowed Job to confess and get it off of his chest. This was the beginning of Job’s realisation that he needed to change. In ‘church terms’ we call this repentance. The mistake we often make is that we reveal the hurt or anger to everyone, except God. This is unhealthy and serves to cause others to begin their own record of wrongs.
Finally, and most importantly, we must yield ourselves to God and allow him to love others—regardless of the offence—through us. Understanding our predisposition to keeping a record of wrongs and ‘venting’ to God can only take us so far. Without a true indwelling of God, we will continue to ride the roller-coaster of emotions that stem from keeping a record of wrongs.
Pursue a full expression of your faith by praying to be filled with God. This is the only way to be empowered to no longer keep a record of wrongs .And you will feel a lot better in the process, I can assure you.