Wherever you go, you’ll find difficult people. If you try to run away from people who are difficult, you might be running for the rest of your life. Do you know someone like that? Now, sometimes the most difficult person in your life is you.So, what should you do if the person you love has parents that you can’t stand? What if you like your job, for example, but not your boss. How do you get along with your colleagues when you find it’s difficult to get along with yourself?
What should you do if the person you love has parents that you can’t stand? What if you like your job but not your boss. How do you get along with your colleagues when you find it’s difficult to get along with yourself?
Dr Les Parrott in his book The Control Freak and High-Maintenance Relationships says this about difficult people, “It involves setting boundaries. It’s more than that … but it’s also about doing certain things that involves being a certain kind of person.” Of course, it’s not easy because I think we all deal sometimes with difficult people, but let’s remember that there’s no better example of Jesus than Jesus, the way he sorted these issues out and got on with people. And there are qualities in the ministry of Jesus and his life that we can emulate.
- a willingness to extend grace to that person that we might not get along with
- ability to forgive.
It means loving even those that we consider just impossible people.
It could be that today, you’re dealing with a difficult relationship in your life. There are three things that we could look at, at least today.
If you feel yourself becoming resentful of someone, there might be an irritating person in your life, just remember that you can be equally as irritating. All of us are controlling people, we like to control situations, and sometimes in our lives, when we care about something more than those who do around us, we get irritated.
People talk about neurosis, being neurotic. We can be neurotic; we can be pushy when we think nothing may happen because we want to make it happen.
We can be loud and obnoxious. We can have our opinion and stick to it. We can be too shy, too sensitive, or we might be insecure. And when you realise that you too, are a difficult person whom God loves, despite the shortcomings you and I have, you can extend that grace to others. And I think that’s tremendously important. So, if you’re going to admit your own weakness, you really have to be humble because that leads to grace.
What about acceptance? It’s a lot easier to focus on the faults of others than it is to look at your own frailties. But let’s remember that the love that God shows to you and me is not conditional upon approving our attitude or their attitude, but extending patience. So, God’s love for you comes with no strings attached, and it’s this very love that transformed you into a better person. If you accept others with the love of Jesus, you will watch something marvellous happen, that the damaged relationships will heal.
Once you have admitted your own less than perfect personality, and you’ve decided to accept others, warts and all, you’re ready to draw on the spiritual reservoir of hope. The Bible says in 1 Peter 1:3,
What a God we have! And how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus! Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we’ve been given a brand-new life and have everything to live for, including a future in heaven—and the future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you’ll have it all—life healed and whole.
It’s interesting that Rick Warren, who, of course, has written some very helpful books, talks about the fact that you can’t please everybody, even God can’t do that.
Have a look at John 5:30;
“I can’t do a solitary thing on my own: I listen, then I decide. You can trust my decision because I’m not out to get my own way but only to carry out orders. If I were simply speaking on my own account, it would be an empty, self-serving witness. But an independent witness confirms me, the most reliable Witness of all. Furthermore, you all saw and heard John, and he gave expert and reliable testimony about me, didn’t he?
And you can also not plan never to retaliate. You know the story from the Scriptures, don’t take revenge on someone who wronged you. And then, of course, you can pray for people. And the words of Jesus, I think, are very important. “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,” that’s in Matthew 5, verse 44.
And, of course, the most important verse is Romans 12:18;
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everybody.”
Father God, it’s wonderful to be accepted by you because it brings us comfort and peace. Lord, we want to be at peace with all people. We want, Lord, to get on with people, so we pray you’ll give us patience and hope, and humility. And I ask this in the name of Jesus, Amen.