Movie Review: Vampires Suck

Movie Review: Vampires Suck

Vampires Suck Rating:  M Distributor: Fox Release Date: August 26, 2010I’d like to say that this is a great film to go watch – I’d like to say that… In an age where everyone seems to be obsessed with vampire films, the spoof comedy Vampires Suck should have everything going for it.Vampires Suck is a send-up of the […]

By Mark HadleyTuesday 31 Aug 2010MoviesReading Time: 2 minutes

Vampires Suck
Rating:  M
Distributor: Fox
Release Date: August 26, 2010

I’d like to say that this is a great film to go watch – I’d like to say that… In an age where everyone seems to be obsessed with vampire films, the spoof comedy Vampires Suck should have everything going for it.

Vampires Suck is a send-up of the Twilight Saga aimed at the teen market. Actress Jenn Proske carries off an almost mirror image impersonation of Bella Swan as the girl new to an isolated American town who is destined to fall hopelessly in love with a teenage vampire. Her Bekka Crane has all broken sentences and irritating twitches we’ve come to associate with that particular love-sick teen and the music playing as she drives into town completes the picture: “I feel so lonely, nobody gets me, I feel so sooooo lonely…” There are some other classic moments like the arrival of Edward – “The unnaturally pale guy with the constipated look…” – and even some witty insights into the original series’ popularity with young girls – “I realise since you’re a vampire you’ll never have sex with me so really it’s the ultimate prepubescent girl fantasy!” – but there’s so much unnecessary swearing and lewd humour that the best jokes are often buried.

Vampires Suck is doing very well at the US box office but that’s no reason to rush out and buy a ticket. It falls a long way short of spoof classics like Flying High or Naked Gun, even though it borrows heavily from their style of physical comedy. If you laughed yourself silly through the Scary Movie franchise then you’ll probably like this too.

Personally it’s just a bit too crass and certainly inappropriate for just the sort of young teens who might have been swept up in the Twilight Saga.