Fractured Friendships — Morning Devotions

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Transcript

We sometimes call it “a falling out”. A serious disagreement between two friends that results in breakup of that friendship. Always a most unfortunate situation. But it happens. It may have happened to you.

Words may be spoken in the heat of the moment and, before you know it, you’re no longer on speaking terms. It can happen as quickly as that. Relationships are a messy business, and we have to live with other people every day – and sometimes words are spoken that cause trouble, and damage friendships, for whatever reason.

It probably happens more than we realise but we’re too ashamed to speak about it. Someone’s feelings get hurt, but they’re afraid to tell their friend, or they don’t tell the other person that something is bothering them. When this happens, resentment grows, and the friendship suffers. People certainly aren’t saying everything that needs to be said, and even very good friends often don’t express what is honestly really going on between them. In order to fix a friendship, a person needs to really understand the core issue in every struggling relationship: lack of communication. As a society, we have the mentality and think it’s OK to blow up relationships or end them without addressing what happened.

This causes us to have unresolved relationships in our lives that haunt us and affect us negatively on an unconscious level. Fixing a friendship is usually
worth the time and effort. Sometimes we’re tempted to just walk away from the problem. But is that really the best way to resolve the issue of a fractured friendship? Counsellors say it is worth it. Fixing a friendship is usually worth the time and effort. Communication and expressing yourself are essential in cultivating a great relationship, and human relationships are really a true source of happiness. Where would we be without at least one valued friend? How do we heal a broken friendship? What can I do?

Start with yourself instead of the other person.

It’s incredibly easy to point fingers at the other party when our feelings have been hurt, or our pride wounded. In order to have a true transformation in our relationships, we must begin by examining our hearts and lives and taking responsibility for our part in the relationship fracture. Were we gentle? Humble? Kind? Patient? I think it’s important to remember that when we take on an offence we put up a defence. What responsibility am I going to take in this relationship breakdown? Relationships are a two-way business. Unfortunately, we live in a “throw-away society”. If it doesn’t work, toss it away. It’s easy to be offended and walk away.

One of the hardest relationships to mend can be one where you know, deep down, that you were responsible for the fracture. It requires a bit of humility, a bit of patience, and a bit of bravery. But you can – forgive like Jesus. Now that’s a revolutionary concept. Forgive that loved one or friend who hurt you, just like Jesus did. That’s the basic message from Jesus in the Bible: Move toward the person and ask for forgiveness and offer forgiveness. I’m not saying this is a natural or easy step – but it is a powerful thing to do. The combination of broken people doing life in a broken world will often end in broken relationships. But Jesus gives
us the remedy for healing broken relationships – Himself.

Are you dealing with the pain of a lost friendship today?

Whether your friendship ended in a slow break or a sudden one, it hurts. It’s tempting to look back on the friendship and ask yourself a million questions: How did our friendship end up like this? Were we ever truly as close as I thought we were? Here’s a tremendous verse from the Bible to help you: “Get rid of all bitterness, passion, and anger. No more shouting or insults, no more hateful feelings of any sort. Instead, be kind and tender-hearted to one another, and forgive one another, as God has forgiven you through Christ.” (Ephesians 4:31-32). God loves to bring healing to your broken relationships.

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He doesn’t want to see sadness and heartbreak just because your close friend won’t speak to you. Do you have a troubled friendship that’s worth saving? If you do, don’t hesitate to do what it takes to repair your bond, for a relationship that has gone through the healing process God offers can become one of the strongest anchors in your life. These lasting friendships are hard to find and ought to be treasured.

Deal with problems sooner rather than later. The longer you leave a problem unresolved, the more likely it is to get worse. Tackle problems as they arise, and Jesus can help you work that out. As imperfect people living in a fallen world, you and your friend are each bound to make mistakes. Be willing to forgive each other every time that happens. Refusing to forgive will poison your soul with bitterness, blocking your ability to be close not just to your friend, but also to God. Choosing to forgive will give you freedom. Don’t wait until you feel like forgiving your friend (or yourself), because you likely never will. Instead, trust God to help you do it, and expect that your feelings will follow your actions.

Pray that you would love your friend at all times, even the difficult ones, and that you would be able to “live in harmony with one another”.