Listen: Lisa Bevere on raising boys. Above: Lisa with her husband John, and her sons and grandchildren. All images: Facebook/Lisa Bevere.
There are many surprising things about Lisa Bevere, the author and international preacher.
One is that she didn’t ever want daughters. Why surprising? Because she now majors on women’s ministry—travelling the world with messages of Godly feminine empowerment, and writing books with titles like Fight Like a Girl.
Yet there was a time when she genuinely only wanted boys, and it seems God answered her prayer; she had only sons – and four of them. Now that they are grown men and having children of their own, Lisa is keen to pass on what she’s learnt about raising sons to be men of God.
In a chat with Hope 103.2’s Laura and Duncan, she passed on a few tips.
- Stop Comparing Yourself to Others! Lisa Bevere’s New Message
- ‘But I Don’t Like Women!’ Why Lisa Bevere Once Resisted Women’s Ministry
Parents: Your Marriage Will Influence Your Sons
A big part of the raising-sons equation was the way Lisa and her husband John have conducted their marriage. They worked hard to treat each other well, and to make amends quickly whenever there was conflict.
“They don’t really do what we say, they do what we model,” Lisa said of raising sons. “I’m not going to pretend John and I have done marriage perfectly, but we’ve done it well – which means, when you do something stupid, you own it. You say, ‘Hey guys, Mum and Dad just had a fight in front of you, where Mum was ridiculous and Dad was dominating. Can you forgive both of us? Because I was disrespectful.’
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“And the boys would be like, ‘Ok, Done.’ They loved the fact that John and I were quick repenters in front of them when we messed up.”
Integrity and consistency have also been very important to Lisa and John’s sons, something that’s vital for anyone working in a very public ministry.
“I just did a podcast with my boys and I asked them, ‘What did we do right?’ They said, ‘You were always the same. You didn’t act one way in the pulpit [while preaching] and another way at home,” Lisa said.
Boys’ Respect for Women Starts at Home
Dads have a powerful role in teaching their children about love and respect towards women. Lisa encourages men to be a good role model.
“Fathers, you have an amazing opportunity to model for daughters how they should be treated, by the way you treat your wife, and the way you treat your daughter,” she said. “And your son is going to watch that.”
“My boys have learned to love well, because their Dad loved me well.”
While that’s not such helpful advice for single mums, who may struggle to find good male role models for their kids, the good news is that mums can model respectful attitudes towards women too, says Lisa. Even on their own.
“You are going to treat women with respect and nobility.”
“My sons learned to love well because I ‘threatened’ them,” Lisa joked. “I said, ‘Listen, I am raising you as princes of the most high God. You will not act that way. I don’t care how your friend acts. You are going to treat women with respect and nobility.’
“I limited the kind of things that would come into our house that would dishonour males or females.”